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HEEL RULES!

You’re probably saying “Heel Rules?” Yes! Heels have rules and if you didn’t know, you’re definitely about to find out. I myself having been wearing heels since the beginning of time. I had the little pink plastic ones with the pink fur across the top but only real little girls feel me on that lol. I actually stepped out in my first pair of platform wedges in the 6th grade. Some of you may think that’s early, but my mom did it so I had to follow. I think her everyday for it because I am the heel connoisseur darling. However as  I get older and better might I add, I’m seeing some ladies as well as men (because they are wearing heels) wearing them all wrong. So allow me to correct them!

1. Do not wear heels if you cannot properly walk in them. I hate to see people wobble in heels. Its disgusting and you look like a f***ing idiot. Please practice in your home before attempting to embarrass yourself in public. Walk the hallway or do my personal fav, dance in the mirror. It prepares you for certain heel situations. Say you’re walking down the street on an uneven pavement, you will know how to keep your balance. Please don’t let me see you wobbling? I will clown you!

2. Make sure your heels fit. I shouldn’t see the back of your heels flopping up and down with every step you take. Damn heels too big! I understand we get desperate and can’t pass up on the style or price but please invest in shoe insoles for a better fit? They Work! Now on the other hand you have females that wear open toes heels with their toes actually going over the toe of the shoe. I should slap the hell out of you! Damn shoes don’t fit! Pass them along or throw them away. Give them up Baby!

3. This is one of my top rules. It should have been #1 but….Just because you got your heels for a bargin does not mean the price should show. I don’t mean take the tag off (that’s a given) I mean just because you got the shoes for a cheap price does not mean the shoes should look cheap. Unlike some people, I could care less about a name brand when it comes down to clothes because it quality over quantity. As far as my shoes are concerned I’m Steve Madden’s wife, Jessica Simpson’s Cousin, BCBG’s Sister, and Rachel Roy’s bff. That’s not to say I pay regular price for my  shoes, because I don’t. I’m a professional shopper. However I don’t care if I bought some Michael Antonio’s for $20, you will never know because I’m going to wear them b****es like I paid 100+. Believe IT!

4.  The most annoying sound next to someone chewing and swallowing, is when the tap is missing from your heel. You don’t know what I’m talking about? Grab a pair of heels and take a look at the bottom of the heel itself. Do you see the little black square looking piece? If you don’t then this particular rule is directed towards you. You can always tell when its missing because the sound of your heels tapping the ground sounds different. Its like classical music with gunshot sound affects. S#!T doesn’t sound right. Please go to your local shoe repairmen (yes they have those) and go get that S#!T fixed!

5. To anyone who wears heels, especially on the regular knows them MF’s can hurt! But beauty is pain darling so its worth it. I saved this for last because its the key to wearing heels. Although they may hurt, you mustn’t show it Darling. Confidence is to be displayed at all times, even when they’re burning the ball of your damn feet. Trust, I know! Don’t ever and I repeat ever take your heels off without replacements. I hate to see a female in the club take her shoes off and walk barefoot. That’s sickening and not classy at all. If your ass couldn’t take the pain you shouldn’t have worn them in the beginning! 

I have covered a lot of material today, If I feel the need to do more please believe I will update you. Hopefully my rules and regulations will travel with you through your shoe life and better your decisions when purchasing. Its kind of like choosing men, but that’s another subject. Until next time Loves

-Tuxedo

Baby Mama! (Need I Say More)

WTF IS THIS? First let me start by saying I hate when people get meaningless tattoos. Pisses me off! God already disapproves of this anyway, but when you get to the gates…how the hell can you defend a tattoo that reads “Baby Mama”? Secondly, I hate the titles “Baby Mama/ Baby Father”. Which leads me to my topic, ladies why are you so submissive to being someone’s Baby Mama? When did this title ever become ok. I could settle for someone saying my girlfriend, my ol lady but I wish a man would refer to me as his baby mother. Even if I haven’t had your child ( by the way…I’m single No Children) don’t even fix your mouth to say “My Future Baby Mama” ILL! Now I understand ladies and gents we slip up and I for one do not believe in abortion (to each its own). However, some of yall plan this dumb s#!t and for the life of me I do not understand why. God said be fruitful, women reproduce, but I’m sure He meant through marriage. My generation especially has given up on monogamy and marriage.  I would rather hold the title as someone’s wife than a “Baby Mama” Damn I hate them words together! Irritates my life! Ladies have standards and morals. If you don’t know what those are, I would be more than happy to tutor you since your mother apparently didn’t instill them. Did I hurt your feelings? Careless. But no really, this is becoming an epidemic. A man will only due what you allow. If you settle for being someone’s baby mother, guess what you’re going to be stuck with a man who doesn’t respect you enough to make you his wife, you will probably have to fight for child support, and question for the rest of your life why he never thought more of you. Break the chains ladies. Understand your children a mimicking your life. Don’t be surprise if your son or daughter ends up being someone’s baby mother/baby father. As I stated, I completely understand some of you did not expect for things to end this way so teach your children better. Raise boys to be men to be husbands. Tell them that every female they decide to lay down with could possibly be in they’re future. So choose wisely. Women teach your daughters the same. Don’t just lay and give yourself to anyone because you may be stuck with him for the next 18 years. Now you may say, who is she to judge she doesn’t have any children. My mother was a single parent, never married to my father. Though, I love them both dearly and equally, I saw her struggle. I yearned for a 2 parent home and admired others who had it. Before you sleep with these men and women think further about the possibilities and consequences. If you can’t see yourself with this person in the future, what the hell is the purpose? A nut? Use your right hand. If that doesn’t satisfy you, USE PROTECTION! That’s why they invented it. Too much for you to handle? Its cool, marinate on it. I’ll be back.

-Tuxedo

OBTW (oh by the way) this pick was taken from the website www.youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com. Support! Its worth the laugh.

No the title does not apply to me nor is this add mine, but I’m pretty sure you were thinking the same exact thing I was when I read it. OMFG! Before I dig into this, let me start by saying SOCIAL MEDIAS KILL SO USE THEM WISELY. They can destroy your image, your reputation, your occupation and your family  along with other things if you allow them. Please monitor what you post as well as what your kids post. Now back to the scheduled program. When I read this, my initial thought was God Bless the Child. It made me appreciate my mom and the strong influences I had as women in my life. I thanked God for strength, wisdom, morals and leadership because I could’ve have been her. Clearly this is a young lady who unfortunately never had any guidance. I’m not going to bash her or talk down about her because its not her fault. I posted this mainly to say. Mothers and fathers guide your daughters. Build and strengthen them with love and encouragement. Tell them everyday they’re beautiful and that they’re able to do any and everything positive if they put their minds to it. Teach them class, self worth and etiquette. Be the perfect example of what a woman…a real woman should be. Fathers protect your daughters. Show them how a man is really supposed to treat them. Help them to differentiate a man from a boy. Be the example of a man you would want your daughter to have in her life. And understand that how you treat women will most likely be the way someone will do her. Be careful. Now, I understand we all have problems and struggles of our own. Children to raise and bills to pay but I feel we have another obligation. We all want world peace but peace doesn’t just start with wars ending and racism ceasing. We have to help one another. If you know of a young lady or male who is in need just like this one, reach out! I’m not talking about a cash donation, I’m talking about words and guidance. That one word of empowerment could change someones life forever. It did me. This could be your child and you would want someone to help yours, so help someone else. I’ll be back…

-Tuxedo

OBTW: I must give credit where credit is due. This pic above was provided by youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com. Please stop by and support as you have supported me. Peace and Blessing

Make Him WORK FOR IT!

Sooooo…its 4:06 am and I can’t sleep. Which is becoming a daily routine for me and its aggravating as hell because I love sleeping. Its one of my favorite hobbies lol. But no I’m serious. Anyway my best friend and I frequently have a discussion and of course I felt the need to share. Hopefully ladies we all can get on the same page so we can have good results. Now, as I repeat often I am a lady of class, intelligence, ambition etc. I’ll stop there because I can talk about myself all day but you get the picture. All and all I’m such a f#(king lady and I make sure the males I talk to know it and respect it. I make sure off top a guy knows what he’s getting himself into because I am a challenge. Its not that I test them, but I myself am hard to handle and everyone is not qualified. However I’m noticing that some of you ladies have opted out on playing hard to get which completely messes it up for females like me. How you ask? Allow me to explain.

I don’t know if you haven’t been informed or your mother has never sat you down and told you that little love triangle you have between your legs holds POWER, K? We populate the world honey! Yes God created Adam first but He knew he would be nothing without a woman. Believe it. So why the hell do you feel the need to give it up so damn fast! I hear females say “Girl I’m about to lay it on him so I can get my rent paid.” Dumb ass! A woman with closed legs receives more than a woman who is so quick to spread. If you give in so fast what exactly does he have to work for? You made it too easy!

 Now there are certain females who sleep with men and the men do give payouts in return but does he really respect you? You may having a banging body and a cool personality but does he respect your mind? Does he support you and your goals (if you have any)? Can he possibly see himself with someone like you in the future? Because please believe he’s watching you just as much as you’re watching him. In the back of his mind he possibly thinking “Damn she was so quick to give up the drawers for me, so she will probably do that with the next?” Not a good look darling.  Meanwhile you’re wondering why he doesn’t take you seriously. A man doesn’t mind “tricking” but please don’t expect to meet his mother with that type of behavior.

 How does this affect me? This same guy you’re talking to can approach me wrong. Thinking I’m going to imitate you. I told you I’m a challenge from the jump and trust he will recognize it. So he runs because he’s not used to it. He feels he can get it elsewhere, and he can thanks to yall asses! Us women who actually stand for something and yearn for a relationship are struggling because you all are spoiling these men out here! Exactly what are they doing besides putting money in your pocket? If that’s it, get the hell up and go to work! Or make him work for it. The longer you wait the more you will receive. In the meantime he is going to do everything he can until.

And whose to say you necessarily have to sleep with them. I’m not saying all men are out to initially have sex but if you’re offering they damn sure ain’t going to turn it down. Look for other things besides sex and money in a man. They do have more to offer. But some of you all may not realize that because you don’t know your own worth. You ladies are out here doing stupid s#it! Sending naked pics, doing something strange for change, literally! Leave something to the imagination. Its ok to show a lil cleavage, a lil leg here and there. But don’t give him a peak of the prize because he will have nothing to look forward to. Its like waiting to turn 21 to drink legally but you’ve been drinking since 16.Try it, and if they aren’t willing to go through the labor then why give them a check for something they didn’t put time in for? And ladies lets not forget that our men are converting to other side. We don’t have that many left, so don’t corrupt the minds of the ones that’s still on our team!  Pissing me the hell off!MAKE HIM WORK FOR IT! You will thank me later…no matter of fact I’ll take that thanks now.

Your Welcome!

-Tuxedo

I was thinking about apologizing for my grammatical errors but to hell with that! When yall get it together then I’ll think about it. 

Why Do I See Your Panties?! Disgusted!

Leggins I believe are one of the best articles of clothing ever invented in the fashion world but some you all just don’t get it. They have been out for years hell since before my time and you still have yet to understand the rules to wearing these things. And yes leggins have rules to dammit! This here is one of the main ones. I shouldn’t see your under garments through your leggins, that is so undamnladylike! Pay attention to the material people because they aren’t all made the same. This particular nutcase has on sheer ones. The only time sheer leggins should be worn is when you have a tunic or dress to cover you butt. If you wish for your bottom to be shown please get thick cotton leggins and those have a  rule too. I shouldn’t see your panty line! If mama never taught me anything she definitely made that clear. Not attractive. The sad thing is, some of you ladies do this on purpose and I call you “Attention Whores” because you’re screaming for negative attention. A man isn’t going to pay attention to your outfit, his eyes are going to be directed to your ass. As if they don’t go there anyway don’t allow them to linger. And don’t automatically assume women are hating on you because they’re not darling…we are actually ctfu (cracking the f#(k up) because you look like an idiot. I’m 23 though, I shouldn’t have to tell you older women this. WTH was your mother doing the entire time?! She shouldn’t even have to tell you because its common sense!

Oh, and let me not forget this. CAMEL TOE! I swear I see this and I want to kick some of yall dead in your throat. Look at how disgusting this looks. I should not see the print of your pearl through your leggins. Again, men will give you the wrong attention. Yes leggins can be a pain with constantly pulling them up and down but it comes with the territory. I don’t care if you have to check down there every hour, FIX IT! People will prejudge you off your appearance before the first sentence leaves your mouth. GET IT TOGETHER!

Do I have to teach yall everything!

-Tuxedo

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